I swear if I don't sit down every morning and write my goals out for the day, I find I lose my focus sometime around 4pm and end up eating whatever.

Today I will make my goal to go to the Weight Watchers meeting. I will drink my water and I will stay within my 24 points. If I can do that, today will be a successful day. Let's remember why I'm doing this.

1) I need to feel self confidence. The self confidence I seem to have lost over the past few years.

2) It just makes me feel so much more optimistic about everything.

3) I'd love to wear a bikini and not surf shorts and a tank top at the beach.

4) I want to be a positive roll model for Kris.

5) I want to feel healthy again.

Well that's it for today. I vow to give it my best shot today. One day at a time for now.

OK, now here's what I used to look like. Not that I expect to get back my 18 year old body, but boy it sure does motivate me to know that I was once capable of having that stomach. I worked out for 45 minutes this morning and I feel like a million bucks. And so begins my journey.

And now we begin......................

OK, here goes my first shot at creating my own blog. The purpose of this blog is to take you through the upcoming journey of my life. Here's what we have in store. I'm getting married in September. Sept 23rd to be exact. Maui Hawaii. I am on a mission to not only lose 40 pounds, but also to look and feel my best. I mean who wants to be a fat bride? Who wants to be on the beach with all their skinny friends who already have a housefullakids? I will not feel self consious in that fuckin bikini on the beach.

That's me, the chubby one on the right. So begins my journey.